A Simple Three Step Guide to Self Esteem For Women

Way back in 60’s just before Woodstock, you had this chart topper by the Beach Boys called, “Good Vibrations.” The song goes something like “In picking up good vibrations; she is giving me excitations.” Good vibrations are always linked closely to self esteem. They mean a good positive attitude towards life.

Before I take you up the three steps towards building a reservoir of self-esteem, let us stop for a moment and consider the flip side of the coin. We are living in a world of duplicitous spin where the Popeye syndrome dominates, “I yam what You Yam.” You are bombarded with a million images on the TV and the internet all of which are aimed at telling you how you ought to look, what you ought to wear and what you should do to get ahead, how to get a better boyfriend while dumping the present one or how to have better sex. At the end of the day you are like Claire (On a Claire Day) or Maeve (in Just Friends).

Be Positive

Being positive is the first key towards regaining your self-esteem. But it is easier said than done. You need to work at it. Positive thinking is not ignoring reality. Even though bad things can happen to people who are positive and negative, the gung-ho types exhibit a tendency to make the best of a bad situation.

Dr. Christopher Petersen in his book, A Primer in Positive Psychology, says that there are demonstrable benefits in being optimistic and goes on to add that it is linked to a positive mood as well as good morale, good health, effective problem solving abilities and even freedom from stress. Being pessimistic is ruinous. It leads to low self esteem which will manifest like some hydra-headed alien through high levels of anxiety, stress, depression, jealousy, relationship break-ups and an inability to think positively. Negative thinking means negative vibrations. Remember the chaos theory and the butterfly flapping its wings in South America and the Tsunami in Australia! Your negative vibrations will spread effortlessly causing people to shy away from like a salted snail.

Be Content with Yourself

The second key is that emotional security cannot be bought at any price. It comes from within. You are surrounded by the often poisonous diatribe of other people against the world, other people including yourself and if you are not prepared to deal with it you are liable to end up living in a state of arrested insanity. Or better still, you can calmly step back like some Jedi knight and deal with these “interruptions” by “learning to be self-sufficient with the insufficiency of things.” You learn to be content with yourself… to be happy with the way you are. It does not mean that you begin to look like a frump or letting yourself go to seed… But be happy about yourself and your self esteem goes up several notches.

Be Firm and Believe in Your Dreams

The third key is hidden within the part of a poem by Rudyard Kipling:” Only the keeper sees; / That where the ring dove broods; / And the badger rolls at ease; / There was once a road though the woods.”

It unlocks the door to the road which leads to self-fulfillment. It brings you right back to being positive about yourself and the world around you. Remember the road to building your self-esteem is not without minor potholes but there certainly will not be any kindly white-haired gentleman who reaches behind his neck, removes his own spine and uses it as a broadsword against you. That’s only in the movies. You have to determine what you want in life and then go for it, regardless of what others say or do to deter you, because it is your life not theirs. I always say, you have one shot a life on earth, therefore make the best of it. Don’t let anyone inhibit or prevent you from achieving your self-fulfillment. And most important, never bow down to the pressures of those around you to give up on your dream of being self-fulfilled.